Santa Cruz CA–In spite of nearly two decades of pointlessness, the 24 Hours Lemons has concluded another season full of more winners than losers (if you count every lap as a victory). Lemons has now completed 18 seasons of endurance racing and concluded 15 of those with season-long championships. Yes, Lemons awards points for showing up and points for finishing in the Top 10. Check out the national and regiona Lemons champions below.

DRIVERS’ CHAMPIONSHIPS

It pays (in championships) to show up, so it’s no surprise that good attendance within a region and nationally count heavily toward our champs. Drivers score three points for showing up to a race and can add up to 10 points for finishing in the Top 10. Here are the 2023 Drivers Lemons Champions!

National Drivers’ Champion: Neal Losey

After running ALL of the races in 2022 and winning the driver’s championship, Neal Losey ran 13 more races and 14 new Lemons cars in 2023. If you’re keeping score at home, Neal has now run 94 Lemons races all time in 104 different Lemons cars. He’s also won 22 Indexes of Effluency. We’re reasonably sure that’s the most of anyone. What can we say? Neal has impeccable taste.

National Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)

Neal Losey (74)
Anton Lovett (66)
Will Sikes, Duane Spurling (49)
Steve Jardine (48)
Troy Hogan (44)
Lee Tuck (42)
Brett Sellers, Jay St. Claire (41)
Allan Miller, Dave Knapp, Gregory Knapp, Ed Knapp (40)

Coppa di Bondo: Vannonball 2023

The subjective Coppa di Bondo carries the honor of the most Lemons-grade performance of the year. While we saw some spectacular stuff this year, nothing quite tops Zac Caldwell’s absolutely mind-bending dedication to Lemons with this four-race “Vannonball” trip. In mid-May, Zac left his home in Kentucky for an epic, street-driving trip in his plated-and-registered Dodge Grand Caravan (which his family has owned since new). He drove thousands of miles on the road to hit four consecutive race weekends all over the country: Thunderhill Raceway Park (Northern California) to High Plains Raceway (Colorado) to New Jersey Motorsports Park (New Jersey, duh) to GingerMan Raceway (Michigan). 

Along the way, he broke countless parts, burned through several parts stores’ supplies of brake pads, gave lots of rookies their first taste of Lemons, got help from dozens of new Lemons friends, and somehow made it home in one piece. Then he ran two more races in the second half of the year.

That’s pretty excellent on its own, but Zac’s 2023 was just a warmup. In 2024, he intends to take the Grand Caravan to every single race on the calendar. Lunacy? That’ll get you the Coppa di Bondo.

East Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)

Steve Jardine (48)
Peter Sheedy, Mark Gaydos, John Gaydos, Alex Knight (39)
Jamie Rodriquenz, Greg Smith (29)
Chris Falleta (28)
Bill Lills Jr., Alan Vandeweghe, Cory Vandeweghe, Darrin Schlegel (23)

Gulf Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)

Troy Hogan, Brett Sellers (35)
Chris Joffrion, Trey Cook, Scott Moody (28)
Steve Erskine (26)
Anton Lovett, Maury Sanchez, Frank Herron (22)

Midwest Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)

Jerry Veen, Michiel Van de Ven (29)
Cooper Lacy, Alex Yovanovich (28)
Jeff Keacher, Sean Beever, Will McDonald, Tyler Hicks-Wright (27)

South Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)

Steve Remchak, Larry Hamaker (31)
Jeffrey McNally (27)
Vincent Keene (26)
Robert Brougham, Chris Williams, Robert Vincent, William Bailey, Randy Feyeraben, Justin Lachausse, Jon Pokorny (25)

West Drivers’ Championship Standings (Points)

Neal Losey (44)
Jay St. Claire (41)
Sean Kenmore, Shawn Westerhoff, Jay Marshall (33)
John Panisko, Pete Bristow, Scott Williams (32)
Paul Normington (26)

TEAMS’ CHAMPIONSHIPS

While the national teams’ season champions were right back with a strong 2023 season, the season featured four new regional champs. We’re always excited for that. Teams score three points per entry, plus up to 10 points for Top 10 finishes and two points per rookie driver registered. 

National Teams’ Champions: Braking Bad Racing

Indeed, both the 2022 drivers’ and teams’ national champions repeated the feat in 2023. Braking Bad took a steady stream of entries all year and capped with eight cars entered for their 10th anniversary race at MSR Houston in November. They’re fleet of hoopties that includes a Toyota Tercel, Ford Festiva, Mazda MX-3, Honda Accord, and a host of other boring stuff like Mustangs, Miatas, and BMWs. By our fuzzy math, they own somewhere between 10 and 15 cars. Add to that a steady stream of rookie drivers and you’ve got the makings of a Lemons dynasty. 

National Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)

Braking Bad Racing (109)
ONSET/Tetanus Racing (72)
Bostonwhiners (65)
Ginger Race Team (58)
3 Pedal Mafia (49)
Argonauts Awful Space (48)
In Lieu of Therapy (43)
Team Non Sequitur (40)
Half-Fast Racing, The Knighted Angels, Low Speed High Drag, Turbo-Encabulators, Vannonball 2023 (39)

East Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)

Bostonwhiners (65)
3 Pedal Mafia (51)
The Knighted Angels (39)
Sesame Street Outlaws (37)
Scope Creep Racing (30)

Gulf Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)

Braking Bad Racing (64)
Ginger Race Team (44)
ONSET/Tetanus Racing (38)
Party Girl (28)
Low Speed High Drag (24)

Midwest Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)

Rod Throwin’ Fools (28)
Polka Kings, Turbo-Encabulators (27)
Focus Club, Vannonball 2023 (25)
Flying Pigs Racing, Whiskey + Doughnuts (24)

South Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)

Lee Ho Fook’s Racing, Burp Racing (31)
Braking Bad Racing (30)
Toyota PE Motorsports (29)
SJ&L Racing (27)
Half-Fast Racing, I Schitt U Knot, Buzzed Viking Brewing (25)

West Teams’ Championship Standings (Points)

Argonauts Awful Space (48)
In Lieu of Therapy (43)
Otaku Racing (38)
IWGF Racing (34)
Point Break It (33)

CONSTRUCTORS’ CHAMPIONSHIPS

Call it a Manufacturers’ Championship or a Constructors’ Championship…the phrasing hardly matters. As we pointed out last year, BMW hardly waits breathlessly to brag about another year of being undefeated. A few years ago, Lemons added a “Real Constructors’ Champion” to the portfolio with Deconstructors champion.

Constructors’ Champions: BMW

15-times undefeated en masse, so very many times defeating individual teams. It’s worth pointing out that the 2nd through 5th place constructors all scored all-time highs. Maybe the word is getting out that BMW is only the easy button after they beat you up in the paddock for a year or seven.

Constructors Championship Standings (Points)

BMW/MINI (295)
Mazda (217)
Toyota (123)
Ford (116)
Honda/Acura (101)
Volkswagen (71)
Nissan/Datsun (57)
General Motors (48)
Mercedes-Benz (29)
Chrysler (27)
Audi (21)
Subaru (20)
AMC/Jeep (19)
Porsche (18)
Volvo (17)
Saab (16)
Lotus (9)
Mitsubishi (0)

Real Constructors’ Champions: Mitsuoka

We saw strong showings from General Motors (7 Index of Effluency and 5 Class C wins) and Ford (6 Index of Effluency and 5 Class C wins), but really, nothing could possibly be more spectacular than the awkward, slow, and magnificent performances of Mitsuoka in 2023. Sure, there is (and only ever has been) one Mitsuoka in Lemons, but…c’mon…Is the Lost in Translation Mitsuoka Viewt not the very pinnacle of Lemons achievement? With a 100 percent Index of Effluency rate all-time in Lemons, we don’t see any reason everyone isn’t rushing to find a crapped-out Mitsuoka to import.

Honorable mentions to Suzuki (Kizashi @ Gingerman), Nash (Metropolitan @ Buttonwillow), and Sunbeam (Alpine @ NJMP) for also scoring a 100 percent IOEs for their entries this year. 

Deconstructors’ Champions: Subaru

We saw numerous stinky performances from all kinds of brands–heavy emphasis on the Volkswagen Auto Group’s annual break-itude–but the consistently blase performances by Subaru really are long overdue for recognition. While the Swampfoot Impreza eeked out a Class B win, there wasn’t much else going for the Pleiades badge. 

Really, the heart of this is something Lemons’ regulars have mostly figured out 10-15 years ago: A car’s reputation as daily driver transportation carries little to no resemblance to its reliability in endurance racing. Subaru fans might take some solace in outscoring AMC products with Top 10 points by a single point…except there were three times as many Subaru entries. 

Even more embarrassing: They came out one point behind the other Pray-For-Rain brand, Audi. That one’s gotta sting.

Look over the full standings for 2023 right here to plan your season champions’ run in 2024. Be sure to check the 2024 schedule and sign up for domination here.

The post Lemons Champions: Your Season Winners for 2023! appeared first on 24 Hours of LEMONS.

Santa Cruz CA–With its 17th season nearing its conclusion, the 24 Hours of Lemons has released its annual schedule for 2024. Against all odds (and the advice of our mental health professionals), the original endurance racing series for $500 carries on to add to the more than 300 races held in past seasons.

The Schedule

The 2024 calendar sees the return of Lemons to Sebring International Raceway in May for the Targa Florida. The series also heads to both Road America and Carolina Motorsports Park for pre-race block parties in the nearby towns. Additionally, the June race in Colorado will mark the series’ full 24-hour race for the year. Those are just a few of the 23 hooptie-racing events for 2024; you can see the full list below.

If you’re looking for a team to join, a new teammate for your own team, or even a racecar to buy or rent, Lemons’ matchmaking sites (our own OKStupid tool, our Facebook Matchmaking Group, and our Forum Matchmaking List) can all hook you up easily.

See additional 24 Hours of Lemons race details and sign up here.

Lemons Rally

The Lemons Rally–long-distance road trip/scavenger hunts out in public plagued by terrible, forgettable, or otherwise strange machines—takes on a five-event calendar in 2024. This includes the “Route 66: It’s Crap From L.A. Rally” (say that one aloud) that will end at a big party in Oklahoma City.

See additional Lemons Rally details and sign up here.

24 Hours of Lemons 2024

February 3-4: ‘Shine Country Classic, Barber Motorsports Park (Leeds, AL)
February 24-25: Jank of the West, Thunderhill Raceway Park 3-Mile Course (Willows, CA)
March 23-24: Cain’t Git Bayou, NOLA Motorsports Park (Avondale, LA)
April 13-14: The Pitt Maneuver, Pittsburgh Int’l Race Complex (Wampum, PA)
April 20-21: Lemons Block Party, Carolina Motorsports Park (Kershaw, SC)
April 27-28: Pacific Northworst GP, The Ridge Motorsports Park (Shelton, WA)
May 4-5: Lemons Hallettosis, Hallett Motor Racing Circuit (Jennings, OK)
May 11-12: The Rust Belt GP, GingerMan Raceway (South Haven, MI)
May 18-19: Targa Florida, Sebring Int’l Raceway (Sebring, FL)
May 25-26: Days of Thunderhill, Thunderhill Raceway Park 5-Mile Course (Willows, CA)
June 1-2: The B.F.E. GP (Full 24 Hours), High Plains Raceway (Deer Trail, CO)
June 8-9: Real Hoopties of New Jersey, New Jersey Motorsports Park (Millville, NJ)
July 13-14: Doing Time in Joliet, Autobahn Country Club (Joliet, IL)
August 3-4: GP du Lac Chargoggagogg(etcetera), Thompson Speedway MP (Thompson, CT)
September 7-8: The Sausage Fest, Road America (Elkhart Lake, WI)
September 7-8: High Plains Drifter, High Plains Raceway (Deer Trail, CO)
September 14-15: Smells Like AMC Spirit, Pacific Raceways (Kent, WA)
September 21-22: The Colonel & The Sinkhole, NCM Motorsports Park (Bowling Green, KY)
September 28-29: Button Turrible, Buttonwillow Raceway Park (Buttonwillow, CA)
October 19-20: Halloween Hooptiefest, New Hampshire Motor Speedway (Loudon, NH)
November 2-3: Texas Tippin’, MSR Houston (Angleton, TX)
December 7-8: Arse-Freeze-Apalooza, Sonoma Raceway (Sonoma, CA)
December 14-15: The Kim Harmon Scrotium 500, Road Atlanta (Braselton, GA)

Lemons Rally 2024

February 9-11: Virginia is for Clunkers Rally (Arlington, VA to Arlington, VA)
March 20-24: Route 66 Rally: It’s Crap From L.A. (Santa Monica, CA to Oklahoma City, OK)
July 26-28: Rust Belt Ramble (Indianapolis, IN to Pittsburgh, PA)
August 9-11: Hell On Wheels California (Napa/Sonoma, CA to Napa/Sonoma, CA)
September 27-29: Fall Fail-iage Tour (Boston, MA to Boston, MA)

For more details on the 24 Hours of Lemons and the Lemons Rally, visit 24HoursOfLemons.com.

The post Lemons Releases 2024 Race and Rally Schedule appeared first on 24 Hours of LEMONS.

Santa Cruz–Just in time for the holidays, we’re happy to announce the 24 Hours of Lemons is going back to Road America! Thanks to an opening in the schedule, we are moving the Oct 7-8, 2023, race originally scheduled for Gingerman over to Elkhart Lake. I mean, when you have the opportunity to combine a historic four-mile racetrack with historic bratwurst (and possibly historic indigestion), you take it.

The event dates and deadlines all remain the same—if you’re already signed up for Gingerman in October ’23, your entry will automatically be updated to Road America. And if you have your heart set on Gingerman, we’ll still be there in June. We’ll have more details on it soon, but you can sign up for The Sausage Fest race at Road America right here. 

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Drivers’ Championships

At least half of the world’s success arises from showing up, so it’s no surprise that Lemons’ perfect attendance—for the first time ever—factors heavily into the 2022 Drivers’ Championships. Drivers score three points per entry, plus up to 10 points for finishing in the Top 10. Without further ado, here are your 2022 24 Hours of Lemons Drivers’ Champions.

National Drivers’ Champion: Neal Losey

Neal Losey became the first driver in Lemons’ 17-year history to race in every single one of Lemons’ 21 races for the season. No one has ever done that to this point and he did it with panache by driving everything from a Pontiac Tojan to a Volvo PV544. His 182 points to win put him a more than 100 points ahead of anyone else. Nicely done and he earned his Lemons-approved straitjacket, presented to him at Road Atlanta. For good measure, Neal also won the West, Midwest, and South region Drivers’ Championships. 

National Drivers’ Championship Standings

Neal Losey – 182 points
Guy Argo – 68 points
Darrin Hermeling  – 59 points
Amanda Tully – 53 points
Allan Miller – 52 points

Coppa di Bondo: Escape Velocity Racing

Lemons introduced the eBay Motors Halloween Meets Gasoline Trophy in 2022 for the team with the best theme. Escape Velocity Racing swept the Gulf Region’s eBay Halloween Meets Gasoline Trophies in 2022 for reasons that exist beyond their awesome, decade-veteran Dodge Dart Lemons car.

In March, Escape Velocity Racing hosted a wedding at NOLA Motorsports Park for their awesome members Rob and Jen Simpson. With Escape Velocity’s Bob Griffin officiating a lovely and Lemony ceremony on the track itself at dusk. The team followed that up in November with a deep-pull Demolition Man theme at MSR Houston.

As such, they win the (dis)honor of the Coppa di Bondo for best Lemons team of 2022.

South Driver’s Championship Standings

Neal Losey – 42 points
Allan Miller – 30 points
Gregory Knapp – 30 points
Dave Knapp – 30 points

West Drivers’ Championship Standings

Neal Losey – 50 points
Bryan Salvador – 36 points
Malcolm Clay – 35 points

Gulf Drivers’ Championship Standings

Trey Cook – 26 points
Jason Wells – 26 points
Scott Moody – 26 points
James McLean – 21 points
Pieter Waters – 21 points

East Drivers’ Championship Standings

Amanda Tully – 53 points
Paul Wooding – 48 points
James Mansour – 37 points

Midwest Driver’s Championship Standings

Neal Losey – 42 points
Friso Schlottau – 23 points
Tracey Barber – 23 points

Teams’ Championships

The teams’ titles for 2022 didn’t feature quite the perfect attendance, but a late-season surge brought a new national champion who also snagged a regional championship by a single point. This season found a couple of repeat winners and several new champs, which we’re always excited about. Teams earn 3 points per entry, 2 points per rookie drivers, and up to 10 more points for Top 10 finishes overall. Here are your 2022 24 Hours of Lemons Drivers’ Champions.

National Teams’ Champions: Braking Bad Racing

From a single tired-looking Ford Festiva a half-decade ago, Braking Bad has grown their team to an incredible fleet of NINE Lemons cars, all entered at MSR Houston in November. When we say “incredible,” we don’t mean any of them are exactly high performance. However, the Festiva still kicks around with a Toyota Tercel, plus a collected flotsam of Ford Mustangs, Mazda Miatas, and BMWs. They’re dedicated to fun and eating well, maybe driving on the track even from time to time. It’s a great collection of mostly Texas Lemoneers and we’re excited to see what they bring with them in 2023. Braking Bad also eeked out the Gulf Region championship by a single point, which was hella sweet.

For the second year in a row, we also managed to have five different regional winners. Here are your final standings for the Teams’ Championships:

National Teams’ Championship Standings

Braking Bad Racing – 84 points
Zoom Zoom Kaboom 2.0 – 69 points
3 Pedal Mafia – 67 points
Battle Scarred Motorsports – 59 points
ONSET/Tetanus Racing – 57 points

South Teams’ Championship Standings

The Corona’s – 38 points
Otown Racing – 36 points
Team Non Sequitur – 30 points

West Teams’ Championship Standings

Zoom Zoom Kaboom 2.0 – 69 points
Flying Scotsman – 42 points
M45 Racing – 34 points

Gulf Teams’ Championship Standings

Braking Bad Racing – 48 points
Ginger Race Team – 47 points
Battle Scarred Motorsports – 38 points

East Teams’ Championship Standings

3 Pedal Mafia – 64 points
Bostonwhiners – 52 points
Mome Rath Racing – 44 points

Midwest Teams’ Championship Standings

Sew So Fast – 25 points
BadgerRacingInc. – 22 points
Bad Decisions Racing – 21 points
ColeFab/27Club/TheBird – 21 points
Rock Tech Racing – 21 points

Manufacturers’ Championships

Perhaps it’s not so well known that the 24 Hours of Lemons holds manufacturers’ championships. Again, we aren’t really sure why; it’s not like BMW is ever using “14-time Lemons Constructors’ Champions” as marketing material. In reality, the various car brands rate from “atrocious” to “almost alright” in Lemons, so temper your expectations. The constructors points are determined solely by Top 10 finishes. Brace yourself for Lemons Champions Über Alles!

Constructors Champions: BMW

We already said it. Not shown in points standings: shredded guibos, seemingly sentient ECUs, and crumbled subframe mounts. 

Constructors Championship Points

BMW – 389 points
Mazda – 177 points
Ford – 90 points
Toyota – 90 points
GM – 82 points
Honda – 77 points
Mercedes-Benz – 53 points
Volkswagen – 36 points
Audi – 31 points
Subaru – 30 points
Nissan – 30 points
Porsche – 22 points
Volvo – 22 points
Mitsubishi – 12 points
AMC – 10 points
Chrysler – 7 points

Real Constructors’ Champions: Mercedes-Benz

Two different Mercedes put together four overall wins in 2022, which is notable for the fact that there had been only one Mercedes win since 2015 and that was more than five years ago. To add to that, the Benz managed to avoid Dead Effing Last and more entries finished in the top half of the field than didn’t. Not bad for overly complicated, highly depreciated machines. Still, our favorite two Mercedes-Benz—the Cleverly Hillbillies’ extremely depreciated V12 S600 and their spin-off team Men-On-Pause Racing’s R107—captured our hearts if not an abundance of points.

Deconstructors Champions: Volkswagen Auto Group

Well, if BMW scored the most points and Mercedes scored the most wins per entry…how about Volkswagen with its associated Porsche and Audi brands? Surely, they carried off batches of Top 10 finishes and overall wins for a clean German sweep, right? About that…Volkswagen Auto Group entries racked up three I Got Screwed trophies and three Dead Effing Last finishes. Sure, the Porsche 996 with an air-cooled Volkswagen engine was the Excellence we expected, but the rest? They left behind a substantial trail of busted Volkswagen turbos, cooked Audi computers, and Porsche…everything. Better luck next year!

See if you and your team made the full Drivers’ and Teams’ Championship standings right here. Don’t forget to get a head start on your 2023 season points by signing up for your next race(s) here.

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Santa Cruz CA–24 Hours of Lemons is adding another state to its ‘23 race list with Lemons Hallettosis on May 6-7 at Hallett Motor Racing Circuit in Jennings, Oklahoma. Hallet marks the third venue in Lemons’ 2023 Gulf Region, alongside NOLA Motorsports Park (March 26-27) and MSR Houston (November 4-5).

To enter Lemons at Hallett, sign up here!

*Before complaining to us about Gulf region geography, please search “Port of Catoosa.” Feel free to send further geographical objections to NoOneCares@24hoursoflemons.com.

The post Lemons Adds Oklahoma Race for 2023! appeared first on 24 Hours of LEMONS.

Sign up now for your races and rallies from the 27-event Lemons 2023 schedule!

Santa Cruz CA–Another year drawing to close means only one thing: the release of the 2023 24 Hours of Lemons and Lemons Rally schedule! It’s the 17th season of racing for $500 cars and the eighth Lemons Rally season. That’s right–there’s room for everyone and their crappy cars in the year to come.

The Schedule

The 24 Hours of Lemons race calendar sees longtime stalwarts Carolina Motorsports Park and Thunderhill Raceway on the schedule. Along with those annual pilgrimages come fine facilities like Pittsburgh International Race Complex and big-league staples like Sonoma Raceway. Sign up now to reserve your spot and your car number without payment until the race dates draw nearer.

Returning for 2023 is Lemons’ presenting sponsor, eBay Motors. They will be providing a box o’ repair stuff in HQ at each race next season (the “eBay Motors to the Rescue!”) box. In addition, next year sees the continuation of the eBay Motors Halloween Meets Gasoline Prize for the weekend’s best theme, good for $1000 and a swank trophy.

Yokohama Tire continues in 2022 as the official tire of the 24 Hours of Lemons. The Yokohama Road Mangler Cup will again give teams the chance to win a set of Yokohama Tires simply by running Yokohama tires with the Lemons-very-approved Road Mangler LM graphics.

If you’re looking for a team to join, a new teammate for your own team, or even a racecar to buy or rent, Lemons’ matchmaking sites (our own OKStupid tool, our Facebook Matchmaking Group, and our Forum Matchmaking List) can all hook you up easily. Try ‘em right now!

Lemons Rally

The Lemons Rally–long-distance road trip/scavenger hunts out in public plagued by terrible, forgettable, or otherwise strange machines—takes on another six-event calendar to some new and (actually) exotic locales this year. The Retreat From Moscow, Rust Belt Ramble, and Fall Fail-iage Tour return as annual staples. The Rocky Mountain Breakdown also takes Lemons to new states Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana.

However, the big news is the summertime’s I-Threw-A-Rod Alaska Rally. That rally has limited space (come on–it’s going to Alaska) but also promises to be epic.

See below for the full schedule at this time and register for the events early on 24hoursoflemons.com right here.

24 Hours of Lemons Races

February 4-5: ‘Shine Country Classic – Barber Motorsports Park (Leeds, AL)
March 4-5: Yokohama Sears Pointless – Sonoma Raceway (Sonoma, CA)
March 25-26: Cain’t Get Bayou – NOLA Motorsports Park (Avondale, LA)
April 1-2: Pacific Northworst GP – The Ridge Motorsports Park (Shelton, WA)
April 15-16: The Pitt Maneuver – Pittsburgh International Race Complex (Wampum, PA)
April 22-23: Yokohama Block Party – Carolina Motorsports Park (Kershaw, SC)
May 27-28: Yokohama Days of Thunderhill – Thunderhill Raceway Park (Willows, CA) – Tentative
June 3-4: The B.F.E. GP – High Plains Raceway (Deer Trail, CO)
June 10-11: Yokohama Real Hoopties of New Jersey – New Jersey Motorsports Park (Millville, NJ)
June 17-18: The Rust Belt GP – GingerMan Raceway (South Haven, MI)
August 5-6: GP du Lac Chargoggaggogg(etcetera) – Thompson Speedway Motorsports Park (Thompson, CT)
August 12-13: Doing Time in Joliet – Autobahn Country Club
September 9-10: High Plains Drifter – High Plains Raceway (Deer Trail, CO)
September 23-24: The Colonel & The Sinkhole – NCM Motorsports Park (Bowling Green, KY)
September 30-October 1: Yokohama Button Turrible – Buttonwillow Raceway Park (Buttonwillow, CA) – Tentative
October 7-8: Tony Swan Never-Say-Die Memorial – GingerMan Raceway (South Haven, MI)
October 14-15: Smells Likc AMC Spirit, The Ridge Motorsports Park (Shelton, WA)
October 21-22: Halloween Hooptiefest – New Hampshire Motor Speedway (Loudon, NH) – Tentative
November 4-5: Yokohama Stuntin’ and Splodin’ Soiree – MSR Houston (Angleton, TX)
December 2-3: Yokohama Arse-Freeze-Apalooza – Sonoma Raceway (Sonoma, CA)
December 9-10: The Kim Harmon Scrotium 500 – Road Atlanta (Braselton, GA) – Tentative

Lemons Rally

January 31-February 3: Retreat From Moscow Rally (Scranton, PA to Birmingham, AL)
March 17-19: Texas Rattletraps Tour (San Marcos, TX to San Marcos, TX)
May 4-7: Rocky Mountain Breakdown (Casper, WY to Casper, WY)
June 30-July 4: I-Threw-A-Rod Alaska Rally (Anchorage, AK to Anchorage, AK)
August 18-20: Rust Belt Ramble (Detroit, MI to Cleveland, OH)
September 22-24: Fall Fail-iage Tour (Boston, MA to Boston, MA)

Not sure what you’re still doing here; go register for your races and rallies now!

The post Lemons Releases 2023 Race and Rally Calendars appeared first on 24 Hours of LEMONS.

Santa Cruz–Starting in 2022, Lemons make it easier to show your family, friends, neighbors, and parole officers the wonders of crapcan racing with online 24 Hours of Lemons spectator tickets.

Online tickets are so easy that even your douchey, Cayenne-owning brother in law can do it: Just hit the ticket page, cough up $30 for all-weekend/all-access, and scan at the gate. From there, friends and life-insurance adjusters can marvel at the strange world that is Lemons.

Every spectator ticket covers pre-race test and inspection plus the full weekend of racing; include full paddock access; and are refundable should you come to your senses later. Ticketholders can go everywhere except the track itself, the fueling hot pit, and the trackside shed where Lemons’ BS Judges keep their collection of uncaged, underage, underfed poisonous cottonmouths.

Bookmark your online spectator tickets now at spectator-tickets.24hoursoflemons.com.

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Santa Cruz–Much to the chagrin of municipal leaders in more than 20 states, Lemons Rally has announced its six-event calendar for 2022 as well as the introduction of a Rental Car Class. 

The Lemons Rally–the roadgoing counterpart to the 24 Hours of Lemons endurance races for $500 cars–lays out a set of challenges and checkpoints for competitors along public roads. The rallies operate a bit like long-distance scavenger hunts on roads big and small, famous and obscure. Teams accumulate points for bringing janky cars (there’s no official price limit) and finding out-of-the-way pieces of American ephemera and history.

The ‘22 season features four returning events (such as the Rust Belt Ramble and a Four Corners edition of the Rocky Mountain Breakdown) and two all-new weekends, the Southern Fried Heaps Rally and the long-distance Great River Road Lemons Rally. 

In the new-for-’22 Rental Car Class, participants will compete for a separate trophy than the (ahem) regular rally cars with starting points awarded based on the crappiness of the rental car company, inexplicably high mileage and/or hammered condition of the rental, and—most importantly—themes/regalia/schtick. For a full explanation of the Rental Car Class, click here.

2022 Lemons Rally Schedule

• March 4-6: Southern Fried Heaps Rally (Mobile, AL to Cedar Key, FL)
• April 21-24: Rocky Mountain Breakdown (Denver, CO to Denver, CO)
• July 15-17: Rust Belt Ramble (Detroit, MI to Buffalo, NY)
• August 5-7: Hell On Wheels California (Sacramento, CA to Sacramento, CA)
• September 30-October 2: Fall Fail-Iage Tour (Boston, MA to Boston, MA)
• November 8-12: Great River Road Lemons Rally (New Orleans, LA to St. Paul, MN)

To see more details or to register for a Lemons Rally click here. To watch a great video that encapsulates all the rally is about, click here.

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Santa Cruz CA—Going fast is easy. Making a Toyota into a space shuttle or changing an engine while dressed as a chicken is hard. That’s why for ’22 forward, Lemons is adding a Halloween Meets Gasoline Prize to each race: A trophy + $1000 cash for the team rocking the most excellent theme / costumes / car build all weekend.

The Halloween Meets Gasoline Prize works just like it sounds: Be creative, have fun, make Lemons laugh, and you’re entered. The crapcan-endurance series’ (not very) genius staff of (not terribly) sober judges and (not all that organized) organizers will (in no way scientifically) pick a winner each race, then hand over a G and a trophy at the award ceremony.

Insider tip: Wearing that chicken suit to the award ceremony helps. And the drivers meeting. And the track bathrooms. The motel breakfast buffet wouldn’t hurt either, but that’s up to you.

Not sure if your theme / costume / build concepts are HMG worthy? Just bounce ‘em off Lemons HQ. Ready to win the biggest payout in Lemons despite being a butt-turrible driver? Do an entry today!

Need some inspiration for your Halloween Meets Gasoline Prize? See below for some excellent past examples.

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Santa Cruz CA–Race cars are a pain. You have to garage them, transport them, fix them, hide them from your spouse’s divorce lawyers…it’s awful. Now there’s a better way: 24 Hours of Lemons diecast cars from Johnny Lightning!

Hitting Walmart, Target, Meijer, and other store shelves this Winter, longtime 1/64th pioneer Johnny Lightning’s new lineup turns actual veteran 24 Hours of Lemons race cars into everything the full-scale machinery isn’t: mechanically sound, unlikely to burst into flame, and with no venomous snakes birthing more venomous snakes in the air cleaner.

Fittingly slotted into Johnny Lightning’s “Street Freaks” series, the first 24 Hours of Lemons model is Midwest team Stain Your Lane’s cheetah-print Honda Civic, a suitably disreputable way to kick off the collection. New models will be added regularly so you can quickly fill up your display shelf with motorsport mediocrities. (You’re welcome.)

Remember being a kid and fantasizing over your diecast Ferrari Daytona? Your 1/64th Al Unser Indy 500 winner? Your candy-apple twin-Hemi dragster? Well, that’s not quite how adulthood turned out, is it? Let Johnny Lightning and 24 Hours of Lemons put some actual racing reality into your daydreams.

For more about 24 Hours of Lemons, click here. To find Lemons races near you, go here. And to see non-turrible cars made by Johnny Lightning, go to JohnnyLightning.com. 

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